During this Christmas season, we all want to find happiness. What is true happiness though? Is America the happiness we all are searching for…I mean we all know that our Declaration of Independence states that we all have the right to pursue happiness.
Can we find happiness? Can our marriages (or relationships) bring us the happiness? Here are my answers to these questions… Yes, we can find happiness, but our marriages/relationships cannot bring us happiness. I know this might set some of you back. However, let me explain.
Happiness is something we have to find within ourselves. We cannot expect anyone else to give it to us. I found this out about six years ago when I began to realize that my old “happy-go-lucky” self had left. I was now the “don’t cut me off or I will cuss you out” guy. I began to wonder how did I get to this place where I was frustrated more often then not and was not happy with my life.
After careful consideration, I began to realize it was because I was giving power to everyone else in my life. I was letting them determine whether I was going to be happy and/or satisfied with my life. I was like a golden retriever throwing balls to people waiting for them to pick them up and throw them back. However, they would just let the ball lie at their feet. By this analogy, I am meaning that I would do things for others only to wait for them to do something back for me…or…I would go above and beyond for someone only for them to recognize what I had done. In both of these situations, nothing would ever happen to suffice for what I was looking to get.
This was also illustrated by certain aspects in my life. I thought I would be happy when I got married because I would have found someone that thought of me the way I thought of myself. If you have been married…you know this feeling only lasts anywhere from about 9 months to no more than three years. Then I thought when I bought my house that I would be happy. After buying your home, it seems that all you can see is the projects that need to be done and the issues with the house. Needless to say, buying a house did not bring happiness either. Then I thought when I had kids, that would surely bring me happiness. HA! Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids and they do bring me happiness…but they also bring along with them frustration.
When I began to take back the power of my life, I found myself starting to find happiness again. I need to find happiness within myself. Happiness is not found in any gift that is outside of ourselves. We can only find happiness by choosing to be happy. This Christmas, take sometime to determine to be happy.