If I were to take a poll and ask everyone what is the greatest barrier to their marriage, what do you think would be the top answer? Some might say money and others would say communication. Still there might be some that would say sex or extended family. What if I were to argue, that though all these answers are good, they are not the top.
Now, there are some of you that read on marriages a lot. So, you already thinking that I am off my rocker. I mean, all the books out there describe the three top reasons for marriage conflict as money, sex, and communication. Granted, these are some of the top reasons why marriages struggle and eventually crash and burn. However, there is one issue that trumps these every time.
The biggest problem to marriage is resistance. In his book, Pressfield (2012) talks about the many factors that contribute to our resistance. One of the items he refers to when he talks about resistance is fear. Fear is a sign of resistance. I had a friend post something on Facebook today…wow…really…a fiend posted something on Facebook???!!! Okay…right…
No, this friend posted some real. They were amazingly brave by revealing their inner soul, where life was killing them and they couldn’t find a way out for many years. However, now they are getting the help the desperately needed. Today, this person broke of the restraints of resistance and choose to live.
Resistance is not something out there that we are fighting against. No, the resistance is inside of us. We just like to make it seem like it is someone else’s issue because then we have someone to blame for our own shortcomings and failures of not obtaining something in life that we wanted. Resistance is the twin to procrastination.
Procrastination doesn’t say to the individual they are never going to do something. No, it just convinces the person they will do something about it tomorrow. However, tomorrow never comes and before they know it resistance has won.
In your marriages, what is the conversation you have wanted to start with your spouse but you have been too afraid? What is the adventure that you have wanted to take, but were too afraid of what your spouse might say? What are you letting lay dormant in your life, but by doing so is killing you from the inside out ever so slowly?
I am here to convince to let it out. Begin fighting the feeling of resistance and instead start living once again. As you begin to step out, you will experience the shackles falling from your ankles. You will begin to believe in what you were called to do and will have the reserve to begin pursuing it once again.
Promise me…no…promise yourself that you will not let resistance win the battle. Rather, you are going to fight against the rest of your life. Building something that you will be proud of in the end, and those around you will be able to gain hope because they have seen someone else make it to the top.
Pressfield, S. (2012). The War of Art: Break through the blocks and win your inner creative battles. New York, NY: Black Irish Entertainment, LLC.