The Whole in Sex

S – E – X!  When you see those three letters together, does it bring thoughts of joy, fun, excitement, adventure, and connection?  I think too many times we forget that we are sexual beings and our bodies are designed to enjoy sex.  If this were not the case, then why would the Creator design our bodies to enjoy sex so much?!

There will be some that disagree with my last comment.  For those that have medical conditions that have been diagnosed, this is the case.  However, there are many that have not experienced the joy of sex for other reasons.

One of the ways I believe that we don’t experience the joys of sex is that we don’t see our partner as a whole.  Rather than seeing our partner as a whole being, what we really see is the portion of them we need to satisfy our own desires.  What does this look like in a relationship?

It is when a man sees the woman only as a person that is there to meet his sexual needs.  It is when a woman who sees sex only as a tool to get her man to do things for her.  It is the person who views pornography and thinks it does not affect their relationship.  Regarding this last aspect, I am not getting all “churchy” – if that is a word.  Studies show that men are less likely to connect with their partner after viewing such images.

Think of Sméagol from the Lord of the Rings.  Due to his obession with the ring he changed.  He had one obsession and that was his “precious.”  In my opinion, this is what can happen to someone that consistently looks at porn.  They use these images to satisfy a need within them and they carry that need over to their relationship.  Thus their relationship now becomes about serving their need for sexual release.

We need to begin to see each other as a whole person and not the portion of them that we need to meet a need within ourselves.  When we begin to pursue sex in this fashion, it brings on a whole new meaning.  Sex becomes more than just ejaculating or having our sexual release.  It becomes about connecting and seeing the other person for who they are and who you are together.  Sex becomes more about meeting each other’s needs and experiencing orgasms together.  Sex becomes fun and enjoyable because it is a way to express your love for your partner.

What are ways you can ensure that you will see your partner as a whole?  What are ways you can serve  your partner this week?

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