There are those that believe the purpose of their spouse is to complete them. How can one person complete another? Let’s face it, many of us don’t even realize what we want or need from one minute to the next. If this is true of us, then how can our spouse complete us?
If someone is to know how to complete someone, they need to know what is missing. There is only one person that knows what is missing in anyone’s life. That one person is the one who created them.
The Bible starts off by saying, “In the beginning, God” In order for someone to feel complete, they need to go back to the beginning. I know some reading this post might not have a relationship with God, and quite possibly, don’t think they need one or want one.
I am not posting this so that to influence someone’s decision to start a relationship with the Lord. I am posting this as to why I need a relationship with him. By having a relationship with the Lord I have learned that I don’t need someone else in my life to fulfill some missing piece. He is the one who completes me. Hebrews 12:2 states that Jesus is the author and perfecter of our faith. 1 John 4:19 states that we love because he first loved us.
By letting him complete me, I am freed to enjoy my relationship with others. Saying this makes it sound like I have this wrapped up, but I am human too. I find myself needing approval or acceptance from others due to my own insecurities. However, my relationship with the God reveals these insecurities and I am empowered to overcome them.
Yes, others are able to overcome these feelings with items outside of God. These items can be work, money, sex, or power. For me, I turned to God – not as a crutch, but rather, as a way of becoming complete.
My spouse is not in my life to complete me, nor in my to complete her. We are together to be each other’s helpmate. We are together in order to build each other up and to encourage one another. We are together in order to be each other’s friend, lover, and partner.
When couples feel like they have to complete each other, they can feel overwhelmed and tired. When couples feel tired, the gap between them becomes greater. When the gap between them becomes greater, then the work to bridge the gap seems to overwhelming and it’s just easier to divorce and tell others you just weren’t happy.
We need to stop expecting our spouse to complete us. I would encourage your to seek God, but that decision is up to you. That being said…where do you go (or what do you use) to complete yourself. Are you tired of trying to complete your spouse? Are there techniques you have learned to ensure that your spouse is not the one completing you?