Forever…that is one big commitment. When I was about to take on this commitment, there were many people I turned to gain understanding. I would ask, “How did you know that your spouse was the one for you?” Of course, if you have asked this question, I am sure you got the same answer as I did, “I just knew.”
UGH! Really?! I am about to commit my life to someone for the rest of my life and when I came to you for advice this is all you could give me?! I was so frustrated by so many, but I couldn’t be to harsh with them because I knew a portion of that statement was true.
When I walked into the room where my wife was it only took one look and I knew she was going to be my wife. Now, did my wife have the same instant feelings? No! However, it only took less than a month for her to come to the realization that I was going to be the one for her.
If you are about to be married and you are wondering if you are making the right decision, or if you are married and beginning to wonder if you choose the right one. Let me give you a few items to help you gain some clarity in this matter.
1. At some point did you feel that this person was the one for you. Now, by saying the one for you, I am not saying that there is only one person for you. Rather, I am saying there is one type of person for you. In the poem of Adam and Even that starts Genesis, there was a side of Adam that was taken. In this same fashion, the type of person that is best suited for us fulfills that side we are missing. This is why many say that opposites attract. I would like to point out as well, when talking about “other half” this is not a “male” and “female” aspect.
There are characteristics that our society wants to label as “female” or “male” based upon roles or tendencies. However, we need to be careful not to be so tight in our interpretations. For instance, most people in our society would classify emotions as a female trait. Yet, I am the more emotional one in the relationship. This does not make me female. All this means is that I found a wife that is more masculine in nature because she fulfills that side of me.
2. I am willing and able to be completely naked and unashamed. Now this does not mean that I walk around the house buck naked. What this means is that I am willing to be vulnerable with my wife. She was the first girl who could ask me any personal question and I would answer without concern. I could be completely open and honest with her.
3. I wanted to continue to pursue her. I know this is not the norm in our society today…or even when I was growing up and looking for a wife. However, I only dated one other person than my wife…and that was for about a month. Once this girl and I started officially dating, I knew she wasn’t the “right” one for me and I wanted to end the relationship. However, all my friends (even other friends that were girls) were telling me to stick it out and it was a normal feeling. When my wife and I started dating – from that date until now – I still want to pursue her.
These are just three quick things to help you in the process, but this is not all of the items. If you are married, or you are about to be married, what are somethings that helped you know he or she is the one?