All you have to do is look at the divorce rate and know why couples are deciding not to marry. However, does this decision make a relationship any more or less difficult? Does choosing not to marry mean that a couple’s love is stronger? What is marriage anyway?
Marriage is the union of two lives into one. Psychology Today describes marriage as “the process by which two people make their relationship public, official, and permanent” (“Marriage”, 2014). This is the definition we will use for the remainder of this posting. Taking a look at this, I would say this is the goal of all couples. They want to have a long and lasting relationship. We all want to be able to express our love publicly – some more so than others…for sure. When we think we have found the ONE, we want the relationship to last…so there is a sense of permanence. So, that leaves one word left…official. What is it about this word that stops couples dead in their tracks?
Could it be that they saw their own parents divorce and it left an incredible impression on them. Regarding this issue, many parents would jump to the conclusion that it is better for them to divorce then to constantly fight in front of their children. I could say that there are studies that prove this to be true (which I would be correct). However; there are studies that show the opposite is true as well. So, who is right?
Lets get personal…I have already warned you about his, so you should expect it by now…
If you were from a divorced family, which I am, would you prefer that your parents never divorced in the first place? Now, there will be some that find it hard to be selfish here and say things like, “I am glad that my parents are happy, even if that meant it wasn’t together.” Some can say that legitimately; however, there are some that find it hard to be possessive…even though they want to be. I am one that wished my parents had not divorced. I wish they were still together.
Here are some important facts to know. The stigma about married couples is that most are not happy. This is not the truth. Studies show that about two-thirds of married couples are happy. The one-third that aren’t, if they were to stay married and work on their relationship about two-thirds of them will become happy in about 5 years (Keller, 2011).
What does this mean for you? How do you know that the one you married (or the one you are about to marry) is the one for your…forever?
Keller, T. (2011). The meaning of marriage: Facing the complexities of commitment with the wisdom of God. New York, NY: Dutton.
Marriage. (2014). Psychology Today. Retrieved from