In the last post, I began telling you a story that illustrates my naked approach to marriage. This is just one conversation that shows how vulnerable I am willing to be with my wife. Actually, on a funny side note, did you know that the word “intercourse” has a meaning that alludes to communication. Yeah, I know…we have more intercourse than we originally thought…LOL!
Okay, back to the story to let you know how it ended.
After my wife said, “Really?!” for the second time, I kept digging. I informed her that I wanted to know from a woman’s perspective if she felt that was a good idea; especially since there are examples of this in the Old Testament. She then asked me if I thought it was a good idea. Did I stop here? Nope…I kept digging. I told her that I thought it did makes sense from a man’s perspective. She then shut down and became very angry. From the outside looking in most would understand why she was so frustrated, but not me. I couldn’t understand why she was so frustrated, being that I was asking from such a broad perspective.
It was from this experience that I realized that woman take things personally. What I mean by this is that when I was asking my wife about what she thought, I was asking her to respond based upon how all women would feel – not just her. So; when she asked me what I thought, I was responding based upon a perspective from all men – not just men. However, what she heard was that I wanted to cheat. When I began to clarify what I meant, she then began to see what I was meaning and we were able to discuss this in a calm and rational matter. It was actually a great conversation.
How does this reveal the 5 Stages of a Cycle
Stage 1: Awe-bduction – This happened as soon as I overheard their conversation. My thoughts were stuck on this subject and I was abducted by the thoughts of how to fix this.
Stage 2: Anticipation – This was when I began to look forward to what she would think about my question. I thought it would go much better than it did…that is for sure.
Stage 3: Apex – The apex happened when she asked me what I thought and I told her that it made sense to a man.
Stage 4: Awareness – I am glad to say this stage came very quickly to me. This happened once I began to become aware of why she was so frustrated. Once I realized that she thought I wanted to cheat on her, I quickly explained what I was talking about.
Stage 5: Acquisition – In this stage we both came to the understanding of what I was trying to portray with my question. I told my wife that I would not grope her because I did not want her to feel awkward or used. I did tell her that after a few months of me not grabbing her she will probably start to miss it. I felt this might be the case because she might begin to wonder if I still found her attractive. Side note: About four months later, she came back and informed me that she was missing it, but we had to define how it was to be done.